It is difficult to have compassion for yourself. To be more specific, it is difficult for me to have compassion for myself. I has always been a desire of mine to do things excellently, and it’s strange to go from being able to perform at an “excellent” level to needing assistance to reach the “sufficient” level.
I am not being pessimistic, unrealistic, or dramatic.
We change over time, and having Multiple Sclerosis has been forcing my abilities and life to change more quickly. This is my reality.
Something I have found that allows me to be more flexible with myself is the idea of brain damage. Technically speaking, I have nerve damage-NOT brain damage.
But when I think of the disease itself it helps me when I think of the damage it is causing as brain damage.
Suddenly, if I am extra tired one day it’s not because I’m lazy or undisciplined, but because I have literal damage inside my head.
If I trip for the billionth time over my own feet or hit my head on the chandelier again it isn’t because I’m clumsy. It’s because my brain can’t communicate effectively with the rest of my body due to the injury it has.
Sometimes we need to change the definitions in our lives to be able to utilize and recognize self-compassion.
“I am so impulsive,” changes to “the damage in my brain has affected some of my ability to use reason.”
“I spend too much time on the couch,” changes to “my body must be extra tired today trying to overcome the deficit caused by the injuries to my brain.”
I can push myself to be better while still having compassion and understanding of my limitations.
Check your definitions. Is there a way you can re-word something to treat yourself with a little more flexibility and kindness?
