I wake up most mornings feeling like I didn’t get any sleep. When in actuality, I slept all night long like a snoring log. Feeling tired is something every momma can relate to. When you add an illness of some sort it ramps up from “feeling tired” to experiencing “fatigue.”
I like to describe the fatigue I feel in a couple ways.
- I’m carrying a heavy backpack on my shoulders and feel a magnified drag from gravity.
- I’m slogging through deep mud and each movement requires extra effort due to the large amount of resistance. Then of course there’s option 3.
- Feeling like you were run over by a truck. There aren’t very many people who can relate to that one. Honestly, I don’t know what that even feels like but I imagine it feels something like how I feel when I’m at maximum fatigue.
Fatigue is more than just a tired feeling. It doesn’t always go away from simply resting or taking a nap. Sometimes it doesn’t go away EVER.
So when you’re fatigued, or even really tired, how can you continue to be the mom you want to be? How can you show up for the day and do things in a way that you can be proud of? But to go deeper, how can I be a sufficient enough mom that my kid will still be alive at the end of the day and grow up psychologically unmarred? Because let’s be honest, when you’re fatigued you don’t think much about being a “gold star” mom except to feel guilty about your failings.
When I am fatigued I frequently feel disappointed by my lack of “accomplishments” during the day. But these are the days where we especially need to look for the small wins. Cereal for breakfast feeds the kids and keeps them alive. Television entertains without momma needing to run around.
But cereal has too much sugar and TV turns a child’s brain into mush! This is where we practice taking the center road. Some cereal won’t ruin your child. Some TV won’t immediately transform a kid’s brain. Balance is needed, of course, but allowing mom guilt to stop you from utilizing some valuable tools is something that’s gotta stop.
1- Meal prep
Meal schedules are amazing, time and cognitive energy saving things. Canva has cute meal scheduling templates that you can find at this link . Or you can use a whiteboard like this one. I haven’t used either of these, but I do have a different whiteboard that is similar and has worked well for me.
I have a 2-year old, and having a meal plan has saved me from pulling my hair out at meal times. Having a plan doesn’t mean your toddler will eat what you’re offering though. In fact, the way things are at my house right now I frequently make multiple offerings just to have them rejected. This is so incredibly frustrating, but I will save this topic for another day.
Meal planning is great, but on fatigued days you might not have the energy it would take to make what you already have on the schedule. This is where self-kindness and flexibility come in!
So throw out the meal schedule when you don’t have it in you! Instead pull out some low-energy meals that you have around just for days like this. Things like frozen pizza and bagged salad. A box of mac-and-cheese and chicken nuggets. Maybe you let yourself buy SLICED cheese because you know your kids will eat it, and you can anticipate being too overwhelmed or fatigued to cut it yourself.
2- Tired Mom games
Kids can have a hard time understanding why mom won’t play the way she usually does. In fact, you can almost count on them being frustrated and to feel pressure to do more than you can or should.
I have tried explaining patiently and repeatedly, just saying “Not right now,” and having my husband interject himself in my place. None of that has worked for me.
What HAS worked is initiating a number of special games that allow momma to be still while the child burns a little energy. Here are some of my favorites:
- What’s on my bum? { Lay on your stomach and have your kid put something on your bum. You then have to guess what it is. https://cupofjo.com/2019/03/18/games-to-play-while-lying-down/ }
- Bring me something….(insert color of choice)
- Read-athon
- Ninja training (lay down and close your eyes while the kids have to try to walk quietly by you without you noticing)
- Show me how you … (jump, run, dance, etc) film it and show them the video.
3- Self-care
When you’re fatigued and everything is harder than it usually is, it’s imperative to take care of yourself. This could mean doing a hobby, taking a nap, exercising, etc. Something you enjoy that benefits you in the long run.
For example, although it’s enjoyable, eating a half-gallon of ice cream doesn’t count as self-care because you will likely feel worse afterwards.
Here’s a list of things I like to do for self-care:
- Take a bubble bath
- Sit in the swing outside
- Watch a video of someone singing well
- Read a book
- Go on a walk
It might take some experimenting to figure out what works for you. But I promise it’s worth it and you will reap the benefits from taking care of yourself.
