The first thing to note with this blog topic is that when I say caring for your caregiver I really mean encouraging them to care for themselves. There is only so much you can do.
The things I share today are from the view of the person who is sick or needing a caregiver. There are a lot of other resources for the actual caregiver like this, this, this, and this. There are not as many resources for what the caregivee (probably not a real word) can do to help.
The things I will specifically mention are accepting the help, expressing gratitude, and encouraging them (the caregiver) to do things for themselves.
Accept the Help
It’s difficult to not be able to do everything yourself. It’s frustrating, annoying, and inconvenient. The truth is that there is nothing you can do about needing help.
Firstly, all human beings need help. Secondly, as a chronically sick individual we WILL need more help. When I try to fight against being assisted it not only creates a lot of tension, but also makes the helper feel like helping you is a bad thing to be doing.
Expressing gratitude
Saying thank you is a small way to improve relationships and it has health benefits as well! Some of these health benefits are a decrease in depression/anxiety, increasing heart health, and improvement of sleep. (source)
Ways to practice gratitude: Verbally say thank you and write notes. You can also write in a gratitude journal, but that’s more for you than your caregiver.
Encourage time away
It’s vital for caregivers to get time to do things for themselves. If they pour themselves into the duties of taking care of someone and never allow breaks they can end up with “caregiver fatigue.” (source)
Once someone has entered the caregiver burnout stage it is more difficult and takes more time to recover than if they did things to take care of themselves all along.
Recognize that this point is to ENCOURAGE them to take time away. You can’t force anyone to take care of themselves or to do things in general.
Conclusion
These are things you can recommend anyone (including yourself) do. As I’ve made an effort to express gratitude, accept help, and encourage my husband to do things for himself I’ve noticed he is happier. Him being happier makes me happy too!
