Once upon a time there was a young peasant living in a small village. Every day he walked a certain path, sprinkled oats for the ducks, and walked back home. One day as he was walking the path, a small rock lay where he was about to step. Unfortunately, he didn’t see the rock and it caused his ankle to twist making him fall. His oats spilled across the path and he scuffed his hand and knee.

He was immediately irate and slammed his hand on the ground in frustration.

“Why do these things always happen to me?” he thought.

For the rest of the day his mind replayed the event and he became increasingly angry at the unfairness. He began to notice more unfair treatment and used it as fuel for his cyclic thoughts: the baker must have given him the smallest loaf of bread on purpose, his friend didn’t warn him about the horse dung before he stepped in it, etc. He became more and more bitter.

Rewind

Let’s go back to the moment after he scuffed his knee.

He was immediately irate and slammed his hand on the ground in frustration.

“Well that was lousy,” he thought.

For the rest of the day if the event came to mind he rolled his eyes and was grateful it wasn’t worse. He began to notice that other people had inconveniences as well: the baker ran out of flour and needed to send his apprentice to get more, a child stubbed her toe, etc. He became more and more grateful.

Purpose

What is the difference here? Although there are a lot of similarities (i.e. The peasant tripped in both stories, got frustrated, and remembered the bad thing that happened), there was one key difference. His perception and thoughts about the event.

Despite this being an incredibly silly story it illustrates the point I’m trying to make. We all experience hard things and feel difficult emotions. The difference lies in how we perceive and think of the events, or our attitudes towards them.

Choosing resilient and positive thoughts can lead to:

• Increased life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Lower levels of distress and pain
• Greater resistance to illnesses
• Improved psychological and physical well-being
• Better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease and stroke
• Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

(source) This link also includes ways to recognize your negative thoughts.

I frequently feel unwell, and actually am in a bout of the stomach flu currently. It’s too easy to feel hopeless, search for someone or something to blame, and become depressed and angry. My most common method of dealing with these moments is the powerful tool of DISTRACTION. If I absorb myself in something, I can no longer dwell on how I feel or what I can do.

In the context of our peasant story that could be him distracting himself by cheering up the child who stubbed her toe. The way we perceive an event and our inner dialogue about it has a powerful influence on us. Try re-writing one of the stories you’ve been tell yourself. Let me know how it goes in the comments.

The post The Stories We Tell Ourselves first appeared on MS and Mo.

Despite the length of the ingredient list, this was a fairly simple recipe. And my husband said that he might actually like these brownies more than he likes non-banana brownies.

As long as you’re a chocolate and banana kind of person, these brownies are a win.

Things the recipe doesn’t say that I did

• I melted the butter first then let it sit for a little while to cool down so it wouldn’t scramble the eggs.
• Then I imperfectly smashed two bananas right in the bowl and didn’t measure how much it was.
• The brownies ended up needing an additional 15 minutes to cook since every time I went to check the brownies, the batter jiggled so much I didn’t even need to poke it.

I eat gluten-free, so I used a special flour for the recipe that’s supposed to be good enough to replace 1 for 1 regular flour. I don’t know if that’s why my brownies turned out looking so holey or if I did something else weird.

My hypothesis is that I had more banana in the batter than the recipe calls for.

Bird Dog

1. Begin in a crawling position
2. Move one arm out straight in front of you and extend the opposite leg behind you.
3. Tighten your abs and keep your hips level. Your body should remain firm and not wobble or shift.
4. Hold for a few seconds, then return to your hands and knees.
5. Switch to the other side.
6. Aim to complete five reps on each side or 10 reps total.

This exercise strengthens your core muscles: abs, glutes, hip flexors, pelvic floor.

(source)

The post 1 Easy Recipe + 1 Simple Exercise first appeared on MS and Mo.

Anyone with children knows that nap time isn’t just for the child. It’s also valuable time for the parent to rest and reset. The problem is that kids don’t take naps forever. Your child will grow out of napping. (Until they are old enough to recognize that naps are heavenly gifts.)

Luckily, even when a child outgrows nap time, you can still have a rest time. This is what rest time looks like in my home:

Rest Time

At 1:00 I give my daughter a “last drink,” she picks one extra toy and then we continue with the routine. (A quick aside, there are a few things she always sleeps with. These things are: a Minnie Mouse doll, a bunny lovey, a small sloth stuffed animal, a cat stuffed animal, a crocheted purple baby blanket, and a blue flowered fitted crib sheet. It’s an astounding list, I know.)

We then sing a few church songs, always ending with the same song “I am a child of God.” During this song I put her in her bed, tuck her in, and back out of the room while alternating between singing and saying “good night, you’re welcome.” (I don’t know what the “you’re welcome” is for. I just know that if she says it, and I don’t say it back she gets upset.)

She usually stays in there for close to an hour and I use the time to shower, read, or eat candy. I then get her up and we resume the day.

So that’s our rest routine, quirks and all. Let me tell you some of the reasons why you should consider implementing a rest time with all kids.

Kids need the break

Rest time allows a child to reset physically, emotionally, and mentally. (Source) It’s exhausting to be learning and taking in stimuli constantly. This break helps a child’s brain to solidify what they are learning and be ready for more. It also helps them to practice relaxing. This relaxation improves memory and improves attention span. (Source) 

Mom needs the break

Last week I mentioned caregiver fatigue. This is something moms need to watch out for as well! (Source) It’s also imperative to reduce stress/relax as much as possible when you have a chronic illness. As I’ve mentioned before, stress results in inflammation which results in relapses and flares.

Routines are powerful

This third item is merely a plug for the value of keeping the nap/rest routine. Having a routine helps children feel more confident, feel in control, and to feel more secure. (Source) Routines are also really helpful for parents with chronic conditions because it makes it easier/actually possible to schedule when to exercise or do other things to manage your condition.

Conclusion

I’m sure there are more reasons that I haven’t come upon. I also have to say that our routine is definitely not perfectly implemented. Yesterday during rest time Lily got us to come into her room 3 different times to bring her things, fix her blanket, or fix her bracelet. The truth is that parenthood is messy and all you can do is your best.

The post 3 Reasons to have rest time with kids first appeared on MS and Mo.

The things I share today are from the view of the person who is sick or needing a caregiver. There are a lot of other resources for the actual caregiver like this, this, this, and this. There are not as many resources for what the caregivee (probably not a real word) can do to help. 

The things I will specifically mention are accepting the help, expressing gratitude, and encouraging them (the caregiver) to do things for themselves.

Accept the Help

It’s difficult to not be able to do everything yourself. It’s frustrating, annoying, and inconvenient. The truth is that there is nothing you can do about needing help. 

Firstly, all human beings need help. Secondly, as a chronically sick individual we WILL need more help. When I try to fight against being assisted it not only creates a lot of tension, but also makes the helper feel like helping you is a bad thing to be doing. 

Expressing gratitude

Saying thank you is a small way to improve relationships and it has health benefits as well! Some of these health benefits are a decrease in depression/anxiety, increasing heart health, and improvement of sleep. (source) 

Ways to practice gratitude: Verbally say thank you and write notes. You can also write in a gratitude journal, but that’s more for you than your caregiver.

Encourage time away

It’s vital for caregivers to get time to do things for themselves. If they pour themselves into the duties of taking care of someone and never allow breaks they can end up with “caregiver fatigue.” (source)

Once someone has entered the caregiver burnout stage it is more difficult and takes more time to recover than if they did things to take care of themselves all along.

Recognize that this point is to ENCOURAGE them to take time away. You can’t force anyone to take care of themselves or to do things in general.

Conclusion

These are things you can recommend anyone (including yourself) do. As I’ve made an effort to express gratitude, accept help, and encourage my husband to do things for himself I’ve noticed he is happier. Him being happier makes me happy too!

The post Caring for Your Caregiver first appeared on MS and Mo.

What I DO know is that sleep is so important. 

Here are some of the benefits of sleep:

• reduced stress
• clear mind
• Improved mood
• Get sick less often
• Maintain a healthy weight

(source)

Here are some of the negative effects of not getting enough sleep:

• Chronic health problems such as diabetes, obesity, depression, and heart disease
• Memory issues
• High blood pressure
• Poor balance
• Irritability

(source)

Sleep issues are common with Multiple Sclerosis and though there are many causes I am going to focus on three that have impacted me: Insomnia, Sleep Apnea, and Restless Leg Syndrome.

Insomnia

Insomnia can be both a struggle to fall asleep and difficulty staying asleep. I have experienced both. Each time I have an MS relapse, or active damage occurring in my brain or spinal cord, I struggle with sleep. There have been times when I have lain in bed for 2 hours trying to fall asleep.

If you’ve read my medical trauma post you’ll already know that I have a thing about counting. When I’m in bed and not falling asleep I will count down backwards from 1,000. I usually don’t make it past 500 without falling asleep, but I HAVE made it all the way to 0. In the past I would do this counting, then get up if I made it to 0. I have since learned some better sleep hygiene and know that it isn’t beneficial to lay in bed for that long without sleeping. Nowadays, I am taking medication that makes me drowsy and I rarely struggle to fall asleep.

Sleep Apnea

Sleep Apnea is an illness in which you stop breathing multiple times throughout the night. There are a few different types of sleep apnea. Obstructive Sleep Apnea is the most common and involves collapse of your airway while sleeping. There is also Central Sleep Apnea which is when your brain either doesn’t tell your body to breathe, or the signal gets lost somewhere along the way.

I was diagnosed with both types of sleep apnea and was spending 40% of the night not breathing. Since having a baby almost 3 years ago I have had horrendous fatigue (see here for more detail about my experience with fatigue).

I was prescribed the use of a machine called an Adaptive Servo-Ventilator (ASV). This machine provides air pressure to assist my body in breathing. The difference between an ASV and a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) is that while a CPAP provides a constant level of air pressure, an ASV can vary in the amount of air pressure depending on when you stop breathing. A CPAP is primarily used to help keep the body’s airways open, while the ASV needs to increase pressure at times to stimulate the lungs to breathe when they are not receiving a signal from the brain.

Restless Leg Syndrome

Lastly, Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). This is a disorder in which an agitating sensation is felt in the legs and only leg movement can relieve this sensation. Contrary to what the name indicates, you can actually experience RLS in other parts of your body as well. Most frequently I have experienced this in my arms when trying to fall asleep. I’ve tried progressive muscle relaxation, push-ups, and plenty of tears with my only successful method of dealing with this being to pray and take a shower to help me relax. 

If anyone has a good method to deal with any of these common sleep ailments PLEASE comment below and share your wisdom. 

Sleep Hygiene Tips

Here are a few things I have found that help me get better sleep.

• Put electronics away at least 30 minutes before bed
• Have a pen and paper by my bed to write things down that I need to remember for the next day
• Plan an actual bedtime and stick to it consistently
• Plan an actual wake time and stick to it consistently
• Get some sort of physical activity during the day

I challenge you to try something new to improve your sleep and comment below to let me know what you’re going to try.

Good night, sleep tight.

The post The Trouble with Sleeping first appeared on MS and Mo.

Let us first decide what counts as a hobby. It seems ridiculous to define something that everyone “knows” the definition of. But for the sake of those people who try to count chores as hobbies, we will define a hobby as follows:

A purposeful activity done regularly that brings one pleasure.

Mental health really does improve when you participate in hobbies, and if you don’t believe it I challenge you to give it a try! Later in this post I’ll give a few ideas of things that you can do but for now let’s dive into the mental health benefits of hobbies.

Benefits of Hobbies

1- Decreased Stress/Improved Physical Health:

Participating regularly in activities you enjoy decreases cortisol, the stress hormone, and improves heart health. More than just reducing the feelings of stress, decreasing cortisol also decreases inflammation which in turn reduces flares of your illness. (https://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-health/health-benefits-of-hobbies )

Depending on the activity of your choice, it could also improve physical fitness, coordination, and innovative thinking. 

2- Enhanced Relationships:

Another benefit of hobbies is that they can increase your ability to talk to others. Having something to discuss other than your health can be just enough of a break to reset your medical tolerance and automatically draws people to you due to your passion. (“The Empowered Woman”). 

An additional way that hobbies enhance relationships takes a little extra effort on your part. Hobbies give you a chance to meet other people with similar interests. There is a strong connection between positive relationships and lower rates of anxiety and depression. (https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/Strong-relationships-strong-health) Giving a nice double whammy to health AND relationships.

3- Increased Life Satisfaction:

When you live with a chronic illness you are unable to wait until you feel better to live your life. On my hardest days I have a hard time focusing on much of anything except how horrible I feel. One thing I’ve found that helps is spending even a short amount of time doing something I enjoy. This makes the nastiest days a little less nasty. With a chronic condition we must learn to live well WITH our illness. (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5507015/) When we learn to do this we will truly be able to feel satisfaction about the life we are living.

Making time for hobbies

But I don’t have time for x,y, or z. I’m using what time I have to manage my illness and feel selfish taking more time just to do something fun. I don’t know what to try, it’s been too long since I’ve had a hobby. 

All of these are thoughts that I have regularly and will likely continue having as long as I have a chronic disease and am a mother. A.K.A. forevermore. 

Here are a few ways to prioritize/fit in hobbies:

• 5 minute spurts: a hobby doesn’t need to take hours for it to “count.” Even participating in something for a short amount of time each day has loads of benefits.
• Choose a hobby that has to do with what you already spend time doing. My mom told me that when my siblings and I were growing up she would take us to the library so she could get a book on something like baking bread, and then when we were home she would have the resources to do it. Example: playing with a toddler-hobby could be building cool towers and taking pictures of them. 

Hobby ideas

For those of you who simply cannot come up with something that seems remotely interesting to try, I have compiled a list and hopefully something seems interesting to you on it.

1. Painting
2. Drawing
3. Dancing
4. Singing
5. Playing an instrument
6. Organizing
7. Walking
8. Lifting weights
9. Playing solitaire
10. Writing
11. Reading
12. Playing soccer
13. Yoga
14. DIY crafting
15. Home refurbishing
16. Interior design
17. Photography

I found a blog called localadventurer.com and they have a post compiling 101 different hobbies you can try! Find that article at this link.

In conclusion, hobbies can change your mind! Let me know what you decide to try.

The post How Hobbies Can Change Your Mind first appeared on MS and Mo.

I remember feeling lonely at that time of my life so this invitation and experience had a significant impact on me.

Since that day I’ve made it a tradition in my home to have butternut squash soup and breadsticks for dinner on Halloween day.

The biggest difficulty I have with this recipe every time is that a butternut squash is INCREDIBLY HARD. I used to try to chop it in half and then cut the squash off the rind. I have since learned a magnificent trick.

PEEL the squash. It sounds crazy, and it takes a few passes with the peeler to get the outside off, but it works pretty well.

If you’re really going for simplicity though, I recommend buying the pre-cubed butternut squash. I peeled the squash and was surprised at how much effort it still took. I also nicked myself on the finger with the peeler.

Other tips:

• Microwave the garlic clove for 4 seconds and the peel will practically slide off.
• After cutting onions, rub hands on stainless steel under warm water to get rid of the onion smell.
• I used chicken broth rather than vegetable broth which added a nice flavor.
• After blending everything in my blender I added a splash of heavy whipping cream which made the soup extra velvety.

Dumbell Row

How to: Hold kettlebell or dumbbell in left hand and place your right hand and knee on a bench as seen in the picture.

Your back should be flat and your left elbow stays close to the body.

Hold your left arm straight.

Flex abs while pulling the weight up to where your elbow makes a 90 degree angle.

Lower the weight back to starting position.

Repeat 10 times on each side.

Image by Racool_studio on Freepik

The post 1 easy recipe + 1 simple exercise first appeared on MS and Mo.

As my favorite Youtube yogi, Adrienne says, “Take a comfortable seat of your choice.”

Let’s begin.

I have been considering telling you a story that takes you through an elaborate and bizarre scenario to illustrate the odd sensations you might have with MS. It was a bit extreme on the spectrum of oddness. The next paragraph shows a sample of what I was originally considering.

You feel tired. You are wearing heavy ankle and wrist weights that are a little too tight. As you try to stand up from the couch it takes a few tries to keep a box of plates balanced on your head while also maintaining eye contact with a spot on the floor to help your eyes stop wandering out of focus.

Instead of that, I will take you through the five senses one at a time and elaborate upon the symptoms in said category. Before starting I must quickly say that with MS nothing is A+B=C. There are so many factors at play that it’s extremely difficult to whittle down one specific “cause” for any symptom.

1. Sight

Vision changes are a signature sign of MS. My experience has taught me that if my vision changes I either need to cool my body down, get more sleep, or am having a relapse. That being said, it could also be a result of overexertion or a sign of infection. Some of the visual changes I have experienced are double vision, optic neuritis (inflammation of the optic nerve resulting in pain behind the eyes), blurry vision, difficulty switching focus from something close to something far, visual vertigo (turning your eyes to look at something and feeling like the room is moving+dizziness), sensitivity to light, and black spots.

2. Sound

I occasionally experience ringing in my ears, but thankfully it goes away. There are random times it feels like one ear isn’t picking up sound waves while the other ear still is. In general, I don’t hear as well as I used to. I frequently need to ask people to repeat what they’re saying, and sometimes with my husband I have to just repeat what he says because my brain seems to be moving slower than sound travels.

3. Smell

There are times I cannot smell things, but more often I tend to have a super sniffer. Although, if my toddler’s diaper was poopy as many times as my nose told me it was, we would be in trouble. I smell “phantom smells” that aren’t there. If I smell something that I can’t immediately identify my brain informs me that it is something random, usually an unpleasant smell like dog poop.

4. Taste

MS rarely affects my taste, but when it does things take on a bitter undertone.

5. Touch

Numbness, tingling, phantom vibration, muscle twitching, headaches, aching joints/muscles, sharp pain, throbbing pain, tightness, etc. This is one of the senses that is always being affected these days. My toes maintain partial numbness. There was one time I microwaved a rice bag to put in the foot of my bed to warm it up. It was extremely hot, but when I got in bed it felt soothing on my toes. The next day I found an angry red burn and blister on my toes.

“Our bodies have five senses: touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing. But not to be overlooked are the senses of our souls: intuition, peace, foresight, trust, empathy.”

C. JoyBell C.

We all have physical senses, but like the aforementioned quote these are not the only senses we have.

My physical sensations are sometimes strange but that has not eliminated my ability to feel peace. I experience discomfort and that has led me to have greater empathy for others. We all have distress, pain, and weakness. Do you allow these sensations to shrink your world or expand it? Will you use your difficult experiences to relate to, and better understand others?

The post The Sensory Experience first appeared on MS and Mo.

Waking up with aches and pains, unsteady balance, low energy, needing to sit more frequently, nausea, loss of bladder control, trouble sleeping, brain fog, etc.

He said the biggest difference is that I am experiencing these things when I am still young. A.K.A. my youthfulness has been cut short.

So this is a short but sweet post, but the point is-

Enjoy your youth. Move your body while you still can. Eventually you will feel the things I feel each day and you will wish you had a little more time of having a young body.

The post Prematurely Old first appeared on MS and Mo.

That’s one of the hard things about having a chronic illness. You will always have to go back to the doctor.

One of my traumatic medical experiences occurred when I was getting an MRI on my brain and spinal cord a year or so ago.

I experienced a worsening of my MS symptoms which always leads to an MRI. I usually get an MRI every 6 months of my brain and cervical spine. This MRI usually takes about 45 minutes. Due to my worsening symptoms, the doctor ordered an MRI of my thoracic spine as well. Put it all together and you get about an hour and a half MRI. This includes a moment of pulling me out of the MRI machine to insert contrast fluid via an IV. Imagine this:

“Mogene Christensen?” I slowly stand and walk towards the employee who is holding a clipboard and waiting for me. My left leg is acting up again- meaning that it feels like a block of cement encased in a skin colored tube sock.

“Did I say that right?” I nodded and smiled while attempting to walk a little less like a pirate with a pegleg. She leads me back to a dressing room where I am given a hospital gown and pants that look like two hospital gowns sewn together — one for each leg.

I go through my usual pre-MRI routine which involves changing, putting my things into a locker, and using the bathroom before sitting in dimly lit room to wait for them to come for me again.

I’m led to the MRI machine and instructed to lay down on the body sized plank coming out of the machine. My head rests in a little divot and after asking me what music I want them to play, they put my headphones on, slide a squishy rectangle on either side of my head and put the face cage on. This limits my ability to move my head thus resulting in better images.

I am given a “panic button” and they slide me inside with a reminder to hold still. The fit is tight enough that my arms are pushed towards my body and the ceiling is about two inches from my face.

BRR brr brr Clickclickclick BRR brr brr Clickclickclick. And so it begins.

It’s loud enough that I can feel the vibrations throughout my body. I also realize that while they gave me headphones, they did not give me ear plugs.

BEOUUUU BEOUUU BEOUUUU chchch. My ears are starting to hurt and despite my desire to “take it like a man,” I can’t handle the volume. I push my panic button and after finishing the imaging sequence, the radiology tech’s voice comes through my headphones.

“Are you doing okay?” I ask for earplugs and she comes to my aid.

“Try not to move,” she reiterates as she removes the face cage, squishy rectangles, and headphones. She puts the earplugs in for me and replaces all of the restricting equipment. Back in we go.

PUHPUHPUHPUH deoudeoudeou PUHPUHPUHPUH. My mind wanders as I try not to think about my itchy nose, the crick in my neck, and how small the space around me is.

Ten minutes pass. Then twenty. Forty. An hour.

How much longer? My hands feel strange from the vibration. If I try to subtly move my shoulders will it ruin the images?

I start feeling warm and hope that we are reaching a point where I can move a tiny bit without worrying.

Ten minutes pass.

I am trying to use all the distraction techniques I know. Making up a song in my head that goes with the “beat” of the MRI machine, writing a story, thinking about food or my family, but more and more I am absorbed with how warm I am and how achy my body feels from holding still for so long.

I start counting down from 500, telling myself that I can make it until I get to zero. I reach 300 before I begin to panic. Why can’t I handle this? Why am I so weak? Anyone can hold still for an hour and a half.

I push the panic button.

“How much longer?” There must be something in my voice that betrays how I’m feeling because the radiology tech comes into the room and pulls me out of the machine.

“Let’s take a little break!” She says, observing my teary eyes and red face.

“You’ve got 15 more minutes left.” I immediately start trying to calculate in my head. I only need to make it 15 more minutes. So if one minute is 60 seconds, 10 minutes is 600 seconds, or is it different because there are only 60 seconds in a minute and not 100 seconds in a minute? (An aside here. Stress makes it hard to think. I’m usually pretty good with math.)

I breathe shakily and the tech walks over to a cupboard and pulls out an IV sized plastic hose.

“Point this at your face when you go back inside the machine.” She hands it to me and I immediately feel the cool air blowing from the end.

“Do you think that will help?” She looks at me kindly and I bite my lip, doing my best to nod while my head is stuck in a face cage.

I got this I got this I got this I got this. Since trying to calculate the exact number of seconds I have left hurts my brain I decide to count down from 1,000. That has to be enough, right?

PuWAH click PuWAH click PuWAH click.

999, 998, 997, 996, 995….

CHCHchchCHCHchch donk donk donk donk.

910, 909, 908…

************************************************************************************************

I have experienced a range of emotions in response to this experience. Sadness, fear, anxiety, panic, etc. Yet I have repeatedly denied to myself that this counts as “trauma.” I wasn’t abused, didn’t witness violence, and have a loving support network. I don’t experience flashbacks or have nightmares.

I have come to realize though that this experience was traumatic! It doesn’t mean I am weak, making a big deal out of nothing, or trying to victimize myself. It is, quite simply, the result of having a chronic illness.

I have gotten two MRIs since this one and they were both manageable.

So, what’s the life lesson? What do you think? Let me know.

Picture Cred: Image by rawpixel.com on Freepik

The post Medical Trauma first appeared on MS and Mo.