My husband kindly tries to get our daughter to let him be the one to help her and he even goes so far as to put on a sweatshirt.

Alas, it’s no use. She snuggles up to my side (I’m currently sleeping with a wedge pillow because pregnancy has given me a wicked case of heartburn. So she is practically sitting up completely in order to be by me).

“Do you need to go potty?” I ask her this, as we always do, and she gives the usual response.

“No.”

So I lead her back to bed, lay on the mat we put on her floor, and hope she will fall asleep soon. She plops onto the mat by me and scoots so close that her face is in my face.

I open my eyes to check if there’s progress towards sleep, and she beams at me.

This happens night after night after night. In the past month, I believe we’ve had 1 uninterrupted night of sleep.

When you have a chronic illness, you NEED sleep. When you’re pregnant, you NEED sleep. Conclusion? I NEED SLEEP.

But I have also chosen to be a mom, and that comes with sacrifices.

The question is, where does sacrifice end and self-neglect begin?

I propose that rather than determining exactly where we are on that spectrum, we should instead focus on what we can control:

Taking care of ourselves!

So my night sleep is interrupted. I can take a nap the next day. (no, it REALLY doesn’t make up for it. But I can’t control if my daughter wakes up or not, and I CAN control if I take a nap).

I had extra chores and errands, and am exhausted. I can sit on the couch and play “tired mom games” with my daughter.

Things like this, taking control of what we can actually control, brings us a greater feeling of confidence and independence.

If instead I refuse to take a nap and spend that time muttering about my bad night of sleep, or I resent my daughter for wanting to play with me and can’t enjoy a moment of it, that brings my overall wellness and quality of life down. I’ve included the serenity prayer below because it perfectly illustrates what I’m talking about.

CHOOSE to take better care of yourself in the small, seemingly insignificant moments.

I have two handouts and a free e-book that help simplify different ways to take care of yourself.

If you need help improving your sleep, click here.

If you want some simplification tips on meal prep, click here.

If you want a free ebook detailing how to reach a more peaceful life, click here.

The post Take Back Control of Your Life For More Joy first appeared on MS and Mo.

You let go of your kid for a second and they trip and scuff their knee. Or they grab something that ends up breaking.

Today I was holding my daughter’s hands and she was jumping. I let go of her hands at some point and it must have been too early because she face planted into the hard kitchen floor. Her lip started bleeding and her nose dripped as well.

I. Felt. So. Bad.

The truth is, I technically have some fault in this situation.

But does the feeling of guilt help me? Does it make me more compassionate or a better mom?

No!

It makes guilt my motivation for the actions I take rather than love. This decreases the amount of joy I’m able to feel. Yes it takes care of the little one. But if the little one will be taken care of either way isn’t it better to do so while feeling joy and love?

Think about your motivation. Can you change your mindset to allow a motivation that will bring you greater joy?

The post The One Convicted Has No Guilt first appeared on MS and Mo.

I look at the clock and see that it is 4:30. Dinner is once again upon us and I have no plan. I scramble for my “go-to’s,” nachos, quesadillas, and frozen pizza. Yes we are fed, which is a major success. But leaving meal decisions to the last minute piles unnecessary stress on me as well as reduces the level of nutrition in what we eat.

One solution to this problem? Meal planning!

When you’re trying to make meals happen while also taking care of children things can get hectic. Add in a chronic illness of some sort and it gets even worse due to fatigue, pain, or other daily symptoms.

I personally have some cognitive difficulties when it comes to making decisions and planning, so it is much simpler for me to have a plan in place for me to follow.

There are people who have a monthly calendar that stays the same for each month. Weekly calendars, batch cooking, etc.

Meal Planning with a Weekly Calendar

What most often works for me is a weekly calendar.

I don’t use this exact calendar, but I do use something similar.

The meal that is the most troublesome for me is dinner, so a calendar like this works great.

I have found that it’s best for me to plan the fruit or vegetable along with the main dish. This helps me to use our produce in a timely fashion.

Side note about that, it’s almost embarrassing how many times we buy something just to end up having to throw it away. Meal planning can reduce food waste!

Meal Planning With Batch Cooking

I’ve never tried batch cooking in large part because it seems overwhelming. If you are unfamiliar with what it is, it is exactly what it sounds like.

You choose a day to be your “cooking day” and make a large amount of something. It could be hamburger, rice, or anything your heart desires. A benefit of this is that on the days other than your cooking day meal prep doesn’t take as long because some elements of the meal are already prepared.

An example: On your cooking day you make rice. That night for dinner you have Swedish meatballs over rice. The next day you have stir fry. The day after that you eat ham fried rice.

So you can see the benefit of this method. Writing this post is convincing me that I need to try batch cooking. So perhaps in the future I will add to this post about my experience with it.

Barriers to Meal Planning

There are always barriers when it comes to making plans, and I’m going to bring up just a few that have made things difficult for me.

The effort it takes to plan ahead, finding a time to actually plan, remembering what groceries we have, and thinking of meals to make.

The effort takes care of itself when I get to the planning stage, so when I’ve been successful at meal planning I’ve chosen a time on Saturday to plan the meals for the following week. That allows me to check what groceries we have and then make a trip to the store if necessary.

I’ve also found that having a list of potential meals has made things simpler for me. In the past I’ve tried planning out meals for the whole month, and that is nice because it reduces the number of times you have to sit down and plan as well as having a month full of possible meals that are organized.

Conclusion

Meal Planning is one way to reduce the stress that can come from cooking meals for a family. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, it is always best to reduce stress due to the inflammatory effect on the body, especially when you have a chronic illness.

What works for you? Comment below with your meal planning method or what method you want to try.

As for me, I will try the batch cooking.

The post When you’re a mom, meal planning is the bomb first appeared on MS and Mo.

Anyone with children knows that nap time isn’t just for the child. It’s also valuable time for the parent to rest and reset. The problem is that kids don’t take naps forever. Your child will grow out of napping. (Until they are old enough to recognize that naps are heavenly gifts.)

Luckily, even when a child outgrows nap time, you can still have a rest time. This is what rest time looks like in my home:

Rest Time

At 1:00 I give my daughter a “last drink,” she picks one extra toy and then we continue with the routine. (A quick aside, there are a few things she always sleeps with. These things are: a Minnie Mouse doll, a bunny lovey, a small sloth stuffed animal, a cat stuffed animal, a crocheted purple baby blanket, and a blue flowered fitted crib sheet. It’s an astounding list, I know.)

We then sing a few church songs, always ending with the same song “I am a child of God.” During this song I put her in her bed, tuck her in, and back out of the room while alternating between singing and saying “good night, you’re welcome.” (I don’t know what the “you’re welcome” is for. I just know that if she says it, and I don’t say it back she gets upset.)

She usually stays in there for close to an hour and I use the time to shower, read, or eat candy. I then get her up and we resume the day.

So that’s our rest routine, quirks and all. Let me tell you some of the reasons why you should consider implementing a rest time with all kids.

Kids need the break

Rest time allows a child to reset physically, emotionally, and mentally. (Source) It’s exhausting to be learning and taking in stimuli constantly. This break helps a child’s brain to solidify what they are learning and be ready for more. It also helps them to practice relaxing. This relaxation improves memory and improves attention span. (Source) 

Mom needs the break

Last week I mentioned caregiver fatigue. This is something moms need to watch out for as well! (Source) It’s also imperative to reduce stress/relax as much as possible when you have a chronic illness. As I’ve mentioned before, stress results in inflammation which results in relapses and flares.

Routines are powerful

This third item is merely a plug for the value of keeping the nap/rest routine. Having a routine helps children feel more confident, feel in control, and to feel more secure. (Source) Routines are also really helpful for parents with chronic conditions because it makes it easier/actually possible to schedule when to exercise or do other things to manage your condition.

Conclusion

I’m sure there are more reasons that I haven’t come upon. I also have to say that our routine is definitely not perfectly implemented. Yesterday during rest time Lily got us to come into her room 3 different times to bring her things, fix her blanket, or fix her bracelet. The truth is that parenthood is messy and all you can do is your best.

The post 3 Reasons to have rest time with kids first appeared on MS and Mo.