My husband kindly tries to get our daughter to let him be the one to help her and he even goes so far as to put on a sweatshirt.

Alas, it’s no use. She snuggles up to my side (I’m currently sleeping with a wedge pillow because pregnancy has given me a wicked case of heartburn. So she is practically sitting up completely in order to be by me).

“Do you need to go potty?” I ask her this, as we always do, and she gives the usual response.

“No.”

So I lead her back to bed, lay on the mat we put on her floor, and hope she will fall asleep soon. She plops onto the mat by me and scoots so close that her face is in my face.

I open my eyes to check if there’s progress towards sleep, and she beams at me.

This happens night after night after night. In the past month, I believe we’ve had 1 uninterrupted night of sleep.

When you have a chronic illness, you NEED sleep. When you’re pregnant, you NEED sleep. Conclusion? I NEED SLEEP.

But I have also chosen to be a mom, and that comes with sacrifices.

The question is, where does sacrifice end and self-neglect begin?

I propose that rather than determining exactly where we are on that spectrum, we should instead focus on what we can control:

Taking care of ourselves!

So my night sleep is interrupted. I can take a nap the next day. (no, it REALLY doesn’t make up for it. But I can’t control if my daughter wakes up or not, and I CAN control if I take a nap).

I had extra chores and errands, and am exhausted. I can sit on the couch and play “tired mom games” with my daughter.

Things like this, taking control of what we can actually control, brings us a greater feeling of confidence and independence.

If instead I refuse to take a nap and spend that time muttering about my bad night of sleep, or I resent my daughter for wanting to play with me and can’t enjoy a moment of it, that brings my overall wellness and quality of life down. I’ve included the serenity prayer below because it perfectly illustrates what I’m talking about.

CHOOSE to take better care of yourself in the small, seemingly insignificant moments.

I have two handouts and a free e-book that help simplify different ways to take care of yourself.

If you need help improving your sleep, click here.

If you want some simplification tips on meal prep, click here.

If you want a free ebook detailing how to reach a more peaceful life, click here.

The post Take Back Control of Your Life For More Joy first appeared on MS and Mo.

Clinical Depression is on the rampage. In fact, of people with autoimmune diseases 50% have depression or anxiety! 50! Depression has also markedly increased among the general population in the wake of the COVID 19 pandemic getting up to 29% prevalence.

What is it?

The Webster’s Dictionary defines depression as:

“a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way.”

While that definition is okay, it doesn’t quite grasp the wide reach depression can have on all aspects of life and behavior.

To define depression I prefer to look at what symptoms people may experience when dealing with clinical depression.

Common Symptoms

• feeling sad, irritable, on edge, angry, or numb
• passivity and loss of interest in activities
• appetite/weight changes (this could be eating more than usual OR eating less than usual)
• sleep changes (increased or decreased levels of sleep as well as difficulty falling or staying asleep)
• decrease in energy levels, lethargy
• ongoing feelings of worthlessness and guilt
• difficulty making decisions
• thoughts of death or suicide or harmful behaviors (If you are currently struggling with suicidal thoughts or behaviors please call the suicide hotline at 988. You are not alone, I believe in you.)

If you experience depression you may feel all of these things, have a few, or face things I haven’t even included on the list.

Clinically speaking, you must have these things for at least 2 weeks before being diagnosed.

My Experience

Depression is something that I have dealt with for most of my life. In high school I found myself often feeling alone even amidst many friends and family.

I was diagnosed my first year of college after a particularly bad few months involving compulsive movie/TV watching, weight gain, and very low mood.

In Multiple Sclerosis, the autoimmune disease I have, there is a 40% prevalence of depression amongst patients. One reason for this is because it’s difficult to accept that you have a crippling disease. The bigger reason is that damage to your brain causes depressive symptoms. This is something shown by traumatic brain injuries.

Help

There ARE things that will help. In my experience it is a constant battle, but one that is worth fighting. Here are some things that have helped me.

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Therapy of any kind is often helpful
• Medication
• Exercise
• A healthy diet
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
• Meditation
• Blue light therapy

There are many other things out there that can be beneficial, but there are also things that can be harmful. Any kind of numbing behavior be it drugs, alcohol, food, or media worsens depression in the long run.

If you are struggling and need a listening ear or help finding a good therapist I am here for you. Reach out to me at msandmo123@gmail.com and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

The post Depression Does Not Mean There is No Hope first appeared on MS and Mo.

Today’s recipe is for gluten-free gingerbread cookies! If you missed last month’s recipe you can find it here.

In my mind, Christmas and cookies go together. Most especially, gingerbread cookies.

To make these cookies I bought gingerbread men cookie cutters, silicone baking sheets, and a rolling pin. I did this for simplicity’s sake, but I have often used a floured glass as a rolling pin that has working quite well.

I was also impatient, and instead of refrigerating the dough I put it in the freezer for 20 minutes. Heh heh. It probably would have worked better with the full refrigeration time. Be that as it may, it DID work pretty well as long as I used my smallest cookie cutter. The dough was fairly sticky (Again. Likely a result of my impatience) and didn’t do well coming off the spatula as I plopped the cookie dough men onto the baking sheet. This gave me a good number of one-armed, headless, or one-legged gingerbread men.

All in all, I would still call it a success because they taste great and will make a perfect addition to any Christmas Party.

Squat

1. Stand with your feet about hip width or a little wider with your toes facing front.

2. Send your hips back—bending at the knees and ankles

3. Sit into a squat position while keeping heels and toes on the ground, chest up and shoulders back. Be sure your knees stay above your ankles, or at least don’t move past your toes.

4. Press into your heels and straighten legs to return to a standing upright position.

The post 1 Easy Recipe + 1 Simple Exercise first appeared on MS and Mo.

I look at the clock and see that it is 4:30. Dinner is once again upon us and I have no plan. I scramble for my “go-to’s,” nachos, quesadillas, and frozen pizza. Yes we are fed, which is a major success. But leaving meal decisions to the last minute piles unnecessary stress on me as well as reduces the level of nutrition in what we eat.

One solution to this problem? Meal planning!

When you’re trying to make meals happen while also taking care of children things can get hectic. Add in a chronic illness of some sort and it gets even worse due to fatigue, pain, or other daily symptoms.

I personally have some cognitive difficulties when it comes to making decisions and planning, so it is much simpler for me to have a plan in place for me to follow.

There are people who have a monthly calendar that stays the same for each month. Weekly calendars, batch cooking, etc.

Meal Planning with a Weekly Calendar

What most often works for me is a weekly calendar.

I don’t use this exact calendar, but I do use something similar.

The meal that is the most troublesome for me is dinner, so a calendar like this works great.

I have found that it’s best for me to plan the fruit or vegetable along with the main dish. This helps me to use our produce in a timely fashion.

Side note about that, it’s almost embarrassing how many times we buy something just to end up having to throw it away. Meal planning can reduce food waste!

Meal Planning With Batch Cooking

I’ve never tried batch cooking in large part because it seems overwhelming. If you are unfamiliar with what it is, it is exactly what it sounds like.

You choose a day to be your “cooking day” and make a large amount of something. It could be hamburger, rice, or anything your heart desires. A benefit of this is that on the days other than your cooking day meal prep doesn’t take as long because some elements of the meal are already prepared.

An example: On your cooking day you make rice. That night for dinner you have Swedish meatballs over rice. The next day you have stir fry. The day after that you eat ham fried rice.

So you can see the benefit of this method. Writing this post is convincing me that I need to try batch cooking. So perhaps in the future I will add to this post about my experience with it.

Barriers to Meal Planning

There are always barriers when it comes to making plans, and I’m going to bring up just a few that have made things difficult for me.

The effort it takes to plan ahead, finding a time to actually plan, remembering what groceries we have, and thinking of meals to make.

The effort takes care of itself when I get to the planning stage, so when I’ve been successful at meal planning I’ve chosen a time on Saturday to plan the meals for the following week. That allows me to check what groceries we have and then make a trip to the store if necessary.

I’ve also found that having a list of potential meals has made things simpler for me. In the past I’ve tried planning out meals for the whole month, and that is nice because it reduces the number of times you have to sit down and plan as well as having a month full of possible meals that are organized.

Conclusion

Meal Planning is one way to reduce the stress that can come from cooking meals for a family. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, it is always best to reduce stress due to the inflammatory effect on the body, especially when you have a chronic illness.

What works for you? Comment below with your meal planning method or what method you want to try.

As for me, I will try the batch cooking.

The post When you’re a mom, meal planning is the bomb first appeared on MS and Mo.

My first memory of nausea goes back to my 4th grade year. We had an amazing field trip called “The Rendezvous.” We spent time in the classroom learning about mountain men and trading posts. The field trip involved dressing up like mountain men and bringing items to trade at the “trading posts.” 

I was so excited the day before. I invited a friend over and we made some things to trade and I made myself duct tape moccasins to wear. 

Soon after my friend left I started to feel nauseous. I was able to sleep, but woke up early to throw up. This was the sickest I could remember being. 

I was devastated. 

And even now, 20 years later, I am still disappointed that I missed the Rendezvous. 

I have had many other moments with nausea, but it became a new creature in 2015. Within the 6 months between being diagnosed with MS and prescribed Tysabri (the intravenous medication that I’m still taking), I experienced the nausea that comes from vertigo. It was constant, and closing my eyes brought me the closest to a feeling of relief. 

Since that experience I have had nausea off and on. Mostly due to unknown MS causes.

Causes

With that being said, there are a few common causes of nausea for me.

1. Food I eat
2. Vertigo
3. Lack of sleep: Including late nights or early mornings
4.  Unknown MS stuff: pretty generic, but true

Helps

Here are the things I’ve learned that help me manage when I am nauseous. 

1. Dry salty foods (white corn tortilla chips are my favorite)
2. Sipping beverages (water or sprite)
3. Breath work (sipping air, just like the beverages)
4. Stillness (being horizontal is helpful for me)
5. Distraction (I like movies, books, and phone solitaire)

Here are some additional do’s and don’ts for nausea.

Poem: Nausea, written by me.

Nasty

Abdominal

Uncomfortable

Sick

Extreme

Awful

The post Nausea. Start with a story, end with a poem first appeared on MS and Mo.

Anyone with children knows that nap time isn’t just for the child. It’s also valuable time for the parent to rest and reset. The problem is that kids don’t take naps forever. Your child will grow out of napping. (Until they are old enough to recognize that naps are heavenly gifts.)

Luckily, even when a child outgrows nap time, you can still have a rest time. This is what rest time looks like in my home:

Rest Time

At 1:00 I give my daughter a “last drink,” she picks one extra toy and then we continue with the routine. (A quick aside, there are a few things she always sleeps with. These things are: a Minnie Mouse doll, a bunny lovey, a small sloth stuffed animal, a cat stuffed animal, a crocheted purple baby blanket, and a blue flowered fitted crib sheet. It’s an astounding list, I know.)

We then sing a few church songs, always ending with the same song “I am a child of God.” During this song I put her in her bed, tuck her in, and back out of the room while alternating between singing and saying “good night, you’re welcome.” (I don’t know what the “you’re welcome” is for. I just know that if she says it, and I don’t say it back she gets upset.)

She usually stays in there for close to an hour and I use the time to shower, read, or eat candy. I then get her up and we resume the day.

So that’s our rest routine, quirks and all. Let me tell you some of the reasons why you should consider implementing a rest time with all kids.

Kids need the break

Rest time allows a child to reset physically, emotionally, and mentally. (Source) It’s exhausting to be learning and taking in stimuli constantly. This break helps a child’s brain to solidify what they are learning and be ready for more. It also helps them to practice relaxing. This relaxation improves memory and improves attention span. (Source) 

Mom needs the break

Last week I mentioned caregiver fatigue. This is something moms need to watch out for as well! (Source) It’s also imperative to reduce stress/relax as much as possible when you have a chronic illness. As I’ve mentioned before, stress results in inflammation which results in relapses and flares.

Routines are powerful

This third item is merely a plug for the value of keeping the nap/rest routine. Having a routine helps children feel more confident, feel in control, and to feel more secure. (Source) Routines are also really helpful for parents with chronic conditions because it makes it easier/actually possible to schedule when to exercise or do other things to manage your condition.

Conclusion

I’m sure there are more reasons that I haven’t come upon. I also have to say that our routine is definitely not perfectly implemented. Yesterday during rest time Lily got us to come into her room 3 different times to bring her things, fix her blanket, or fix her bracelet. The truth is that parenthood is messy and all you can do is your best.

The post 3 Reasons to have rest time with kids first appeared on MS and Mo.